excuses, distractions and saying no.

I started posting here for a variety of reasons - but they pretty much boil down to two things: keeping myself accountable and ensuring that i'm really not as crazy as i sometimes feel!

I haven't been posting...therefore by default I also have not been using this avenue to keep myself accountable nor have I been clearing my head of the "crazy thoughts". I have no excuses, no rationale....just being "lazy". I have to say no to that attitude and get myself back into gear!

I haven't prepared any thoughts for this post, so bear with me for i tend to write in a james-joyce-esque stream of consciousness style...

Though I'm incredibly hypersensitive to raw criticism and things which to me sound similar, sometimes the raw criticism/blunt truth is exactly what I need to hear. This doesn't give anyone a green light to start dogging on me - constructive or lovingly crafted criticism is definitely best. I had two instances of this just yesterday, actually: one made me look more whole-heartedly for a "real" job, the other made me really take a long look at myself and figure out what the heck exactly is going on with me.

The "job incident" was definitely raw criticism at its most acidic. Yes, it prompted me to start looking for a "real job" again, but it also made me think/feel lots of other things which were not nearly as productive or positive. I also found loads of tempting jobs with the Peace Corps or teaching English overseas.

The "me incident" was lovingly crafted, i think. @bwjen tweeted yesterday inquiring how those who were participating in the Missouri 60 Challenge were doing with it. I responded that I wasn't doing so hot. @bwjen's reply: "well you better get it all fixed and get your hiney back on the road!!"

indeed i had better do just that.

i can not attain my goals of being healthy & fit, organized & clutter-free, and an all-around diva without having my "hiney back on the road". I get frustrated because I want to achieve my goals yesterday...but logically, i know that this is impossible. One day at a time.

As Lao Tzu said, "The journey of one thousand miles begins with a single step."