excuses, distractions and saying no.

I started posting here for a variety of reasons - but they pretty much boil down to two things: keeping myself accountable and ensuring that i'm really not as crazy as i sometimes feel!

I haven't been posting...therefore by default I also have not been using this avenue to keep myself accountable nor have I been clearing my head of the "crazy thoughts". I have no excuses, no rationale....just being "lazy". I have to say no to that attitude and get myself back into gear!

I haven't prepared any thoughts for this post, so bear with me for i tend to write in a james-joyce-esque stream of consciousness style...

Though I'm incredibly hypersensitive to raw criticism and things which to me sound similar, sometimes the raw criticism/blunt truth is exactly what I need to hear. This doesn't give anyone a green light to start dogging on me - constructive or lovingly crafted criticism is definitely best. I had two instances of this just yesterday, actually: one made me look more whole-heartedly for a "real" job, the other made me really take a long look at myself and figure out what the heck exactly is going on with me.

The "job incident" was definitely raw criticism at its most acidic. Yes, it prompted me to start looking for a "real job" again, but it also made me think/feel lots of other things which were not nearly as productive or positive. I also found loads of tempting jobs with the Peace Corps or teaching English overseas.

The "me incident" was lovingly crafted, i think. @bwjen tweeted yesterday inquiring how those who were participating in the Missouri 60 Challenge were doing with it. I responded that I wasn't doing so hot. @bwjen's reply: "well you better get it all fixed and get your hiney back on the road!!"

indeed i had better do just that.

i can not attain my goals of being healthy & fit, organized & clutter-free, and an all-around diva without having my "hiney back on the road". I get frustrated because I want to achieve my goals yesterday...but logically, i know that this is impossible. One day at a time.

As Lao Tzu said, "The journey of one thousand miles begins with a single step."

I Resolve to NOT Resolve.

"What's your New Year's Resolution?"

Is it just me, or does that question make your tongue stammer and your brain start flopping looking for that perfect thing to say? I've never been a big fan of New Year's Resolutions, mainly because I'm total crap at actually sticking to them - but really, isn't everyone? What is so magical about January 1 that makes humans go crazy and start to promise themselves they're gonna start doing right by themselves?

Though I don't necessarily think that making "New Year's Resolutions" is the most practical use of time, I do think, however, that anytime is a good time to sit down and have a good hard think about the path your life is on and figure out what, if anything, you need to do in order to reach your goals. With everyone switching from Holiday Mindset to Resolution Mindset, it might be a good time to find encouragement, advice and support from those around you as you sit down for the first good long think of the year.

You might be asking yourself, "what difference could there be between making a New Year's Resolution and having a good long think at the first of the year?" Plenty. To me, a New Year's Resolution (NYR) is a once-a-year, special occasion type of thing - not unlike Easter or Thanksgiving; whereas I am a proponent of thinking about your life and your goals in depth multiple times per year - making it a life-style change rather than a vapid promise to be tossed aside by Groundhog Day. ya dig?

But go ahead - do whatever you want: just because I think like this doesn't mean I'm going to judge you for whatever decision you might make! :-)

I also have the type of personality which benefits from being held accountable by a 3rd party, so let me share with you the things which I have meditated upon and feel that I should work on this coming year.

1. Change my eating habits. I am not the most conscientious eater all of the time. I want to switch out my unhealthy habits for healthier ones. I know that I can do it as I've done it once before (then I got lazy about it and fell back into those bad habits).

2. Drink more water. I used to be so good about drinking water - but I've become addicted to the Diet Soda. Not only is it expensive, it is bad for your body.

3. Monitor my Internet Usage. I used to work 2 jobs, then because of some serious tendonitis in my dominant shoulder, I had to quit one of them. Since I've been working much less than I'm used to, I filled that time with the Internet - particularly Twitter. Don't get me wrong, @dani29 loves her Twitter, but I don't need it connected like an IV. (Besides - I have a mobile, so I can tweet on the go!)

4. Get moving. I'm tired of being tired. I know that my sluggishness is, in large part, due to my, well, being sluggish and sloth-like; I'm not a giant sloth, but getting there. I miss the feeling my body gets from being active - and I miss my skinny jeans (in my case a pair of black Editor pants from Express).

5. Take my Meds. I am really really bad about taking my meds. Not only is there is a reason I take them, but I've spent good money DH and I have worked hard to earn.

6. Make something pretty. I love creating pretty things - it gives me a really good feeling that I can make something beautiful out of things which aren't so pretty alone. I aim to make one pretty thing per week. :-) I have a feeling that my Etsy and Artfire shops just might fill up with my handcrafted goodness this year!

7. Take Mental Vacations. I LOVE to read - but I've not been taking the time to indulge in that passion lately. I am going to try to read about 500 pages per week. That might sound like an awful lot, but I can read rather quickly. ;-)

8. Get rid of the CLUTTER! I don't mean to be a clutter bug, I just kinda have ended up that way. I HATE to throw out perfectly good things which can be re-purposed. I am a member of my local Freecycle group, so I should take advantage of it. I like to try my hand at lots of different creative outlets, so unfortunately I tend to keep around too many things which I think might be useful in crafting.

9. Rekindle sputtering relationships. There was a reason I was friends with so-and-so for some reason - and unless s/he's done something utterly unforgiveable, the only reason we're not such good friends now is sheer laziness. Granted, I know that friendships cannot be one-sided: if my friend refuses to put forth an effort, all efforts on my part shall cease.

10. Show my friends and family just how much I care. We all do it - we have a tendency to take for granted those closest to us; we can unconsciously be so vile to those we love the most and think that they will always know how we truly feel. Life is too short and unpredictable to not give all the love and affection to our nearest and dearest that they deserve.

So, as of today 1 January 2009 @ 20.37 these are the top ten things I think I can improve in my life for the betterment of not only my life, but also for those around me. I will check in with myself (and you!) every so often throughout the year (at least 4 times) to give updates on how my quest is going.

Leave Comments for me to tell me what your own goals for this year are - let's do this together! :-D

If you want to read about NYRs or get some advice and/or support on your own life goals, hit up the links I've posted below. Then, stop being lazy and look around for your own! Give a man a fish, feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, feed him for a lifetime. (paraphrased, of course)


http://mentalhealth.about.com/od/selfhelp/a/newyears.htm
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/7806776.stm
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/7162692.stm
http://www.apahelpcenter.org/articles/article.php?id=169
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=6687608


Good luck with your meditations!